This brief post is not to advise on what type of gun to buy, but to urge you to get training before buying so you will not waste money and time training with something that is not right for you. This post was prompted by a twitter follower tweeting that her husband bought a .357 that is too heavy for her. For some reason, Hollywood I guess, people without training tend to buy .357 and 9mm handguns. I get the sense people think these are powerful calibers, yet the stopping power is lower with these than with the calibers you typically see where I train. Where I train, you see mainly 1911's (.45ACP) and glocks (or glock derivatives), usually chambered in .40 or greater. Yes, many train with 9mm because it's cheaper, but generally you want to train with what you use for defense. Proper grip and stance have a lot to do with "how much gun" you can handle so please, get trained before you buy (rent or borrow in the meantime).